Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i think we sleep fucked last night...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
