I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
why do cheetos always look like penises
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
