why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
