Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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