just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just found a bag of teeth...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You need Xanax blowdarts
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
