I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
