I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
