Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
