some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
