Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
