his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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