it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
