just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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