LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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