I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
