morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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