does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
