Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
