You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
