so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Moan for me like Helen Keller
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
