dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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