You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
