I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
