My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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