If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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