thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
