I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
