he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize