I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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