hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
