I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
