i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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