everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Semen is not good for contacts.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
