The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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