afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This is the high leading the old right now
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
