I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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