He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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