Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
