Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
