I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
