And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
