I cockslap morals
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
