based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Bring me that man meat
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
