its not stalking. its research.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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