You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
