Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
