dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Is that strawberry winking at me??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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