I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Who wears a wallet chain?!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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