im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
