there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
