yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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