Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize