apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize