Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
