Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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