I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
time to smoke my breakfast
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I came so hard my ears popped.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
