uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
