she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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