So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
