I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
