i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Send help, water and tortillas.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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