So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
