It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
