Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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