garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
