I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
