You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
